(Please note: I began writting this a couple months back. I had a lot on my mind and heart and the time and I still feel it is important to post this now)
I have been learning a lot about myself and this world lately. Due to my desire to not sit still, I have experienced just about every piece of the VTC team at work. By constantly raising my hand and wanting to be involved, I have been able to experience more than my job description allows. Management has gone along with it for want of seeing work get done and lack of people wanting to get involved. The other day, a colleague handed me a book by Gordon MacKenzie titled "Orbiting the Giant Hairball." I was immediately engrossed in the book and I was not sure why. About half way through the book, I began to understand something about myself that I had not been able to articulate until now.
I have always had this unsettled feeling about the future. Where am I going? What am I doing? What steps need to be taken? But I constantly read that I should be entrusting my ways to the Lord and letting him direct my paths. I like that! But at the same time, not having direction has made me uncomforatble. Probably because we all have this comfort zone in the Hairball and want to feel secure in what is known. Pressure comes from all sides to make decisions and choose a path. Fit this mold. Do this. Don't do this. But I have this nagging feeling that there is more to life.
True, it is important to have some form and structure (We have a whole Bible filled with it), but there is the creative and artistic side that we tend to avoid (The Bible was also filled with that). Where am I going with this? Spirit of the Law, not letter of the law....
God has created each one of us with a mind to think. To grow. To be creative. Look at His creation! Amazing! Beautiful! Creative.... He didn't design robots to fit a certain mold. He didn't create the mindless machine of a corporation. He created beauty and intelligence. It fits within certain guidelines, true, but there is a freedom within it. We call it "Christian Liberty" or something like that. Nevertheless, it too has some guide posts, but is largely free. We squeeze into these boxes and follow steps in life. Go to college. Climb the ladder. And above all else, do NOT color outside the lines.
As I look back over my life, I can honestly say that I have not colored inside the lines (Most of time). My life has not been normal (If there is such a thing). I do know though that I am right where God wants me right now. How did I get here though? I could write a whole book tracing backwards and would still come up with the same questions. I took risks, I followed my heart which was guided by my mind and God. Luck? Chance? No way! God has a plan and He will see it through the end! I know that God wants to use me and He wants me to glorify Him. That's why He created me- To glorify Him. The best part about glorifying God is that it is incredibly fun! Sure, it gets hard at times and there are some bumps in the road, but it is awesome overall.
Life is too short on this earth and I do not intend to sit still and let it pass me by. I want to glorify God and have a great time doing it too. I want to get things done for the Lord and see His kingdom grow. If I choose not to be part of that, I will miss out on the greatest joy of life. God's work will be done whether I choose to help or not. I'm diving in! I want to paint a masterpiece for God with this canvas of life he has given to me! Who am I? I am a child of God, placed on this earth for such a time as this. My interests are varied and change often. I have a desire to gather information and process it. When it all comes to an end though, the only part of my life that will carry on is what yielded true value. I want to get things done that glorify God. As a result, I will live a rich life of joy and satisfaction. At the same time, God will be pleased with His investment!
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